The first thing I did when I found out the news was chug a seven-dollar bottle of rosé. Then I smoked a cigarette butt I found hiding in my trash can and fucked my downstairs neighbor. I figured it was fine, considering my intended plan and all—that being said, I didn’t tell him I did any of that.
I was, in many ways, naive for thinking I’d have the power just because I was older. That was never the case with Gabe. We were in the same Race in Film class. I remember when I found out about his early graduation and obscene SAT score, thinking, why would you choose to study something as fucking stupid as movies with a brain like that?—I never asked that, I was sure he had gotten that question enough from his other hook-ups and selfishly, I wanted to stand out. He was precocious—a term I’d never thought I’d use, never wanted to use, to describe a lover of mine.
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