54 Comments
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Jenna's avatar

Ughhh this is so good! Each story better than the last. I love that you’re not afraid to write from a variety of perspectives. I feel like I get trapped in writing different versions of myself sometimes and I notice it with other writers, like published ones. This is so lovely and fresh.

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you so much!!!! Okay 100% me too, I feel like most of my stories are different versions of myself, so I def tried to challenge myself with this perspective!

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nadav's avatar

real peculiar one in a good way

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you!!!

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Theredonehimselfindaflesh's avatar

I’ll be honest- I couldn’t even finish this without feeling the need to praise it. I haven’t even finished my extensive research investigation of Hamartia (is that capitalized?)

The capacity the author has for feeling the two opposing characters… wow

I bet there’s a twist that somehow makes this comment ridiculous and whips me with the irony of having said anything before its time…

But please take my praise. Had a bad day, a hangover I spose that like dulled and darkened everythang, but this made me feel something, strong

AMENDED: I finished it. Copy and pasted the earlier comment. Still stands

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emma girl's avatar

Wow wow wow thank u so much Omg😭❤️❤️

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Theredonehimselfindaflesh's avatar

My obligation right? I think we’re all obliged to praise good work, cause it takes work.

I love threads because I read such good shit now, like waitin at a red light

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Contarini's avatar

Wow. Really well done. It’s interesting to see you switching up the viewpoint in this way. It’s a convincing depiction of someone completely different, a man, and much older. His confused motives, and his infatuation, and his responses to things are all believable. Brava.

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you so much!!!! 😁❤️

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A. R. Eldridge's avatar

This one was weirdly tragic in a way I can’t put my finger on.

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nico's avatar

EMMA this is so vivid and strangely beautiful and just amazing literally my favorite writer on here

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you Nico!!!!🥹

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

how you manage to continually step into other views is remarkable.

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you Clancy😭😭😭😭❤️

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J Monohan's avatar

“I’m a feminist, for God’s sake!” 😂

Very much enjoyed reading this. Well done.

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you so much!!! 😁❤️

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Jortzinho's avatar

Ridiculously good

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emma girl's avatar

Wow thank u so much! :)

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Rahul's avatar

I came here as Clancy Steadwells substack posted it. I loved reading such unique writing. Glad I opened substack on a random day.

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JunkMan's avatar
6dEdited

This story was so well received by so many people that I wanted to figure out why. (Because I dearly want to be able to do what you pulled off here!) Being old as dirt, I even printed it out, spent some time with it. Here's some praise and questions, writer to writer.

The main strength for me is that the character was so vividly drawn I was hooked from the start. So many visceral and revealing details in August's language. Couldn't wait to find out the next thing bubbling through his brain. The story cast that spell over me that John Barth talked about.

The only moment that broke the spell for me, made me go "Eh?" was when August suddenly send the dick pics. It felt like he was breaking character--seemed inexplicable despite the effort to cast it as a mistaken attempt at intimacy.

But I think this is where authorial ethos comes in. I had come to trust you by then, so I pressed on and suspended disbelief. You know this guy better than I do! I am left wondering, though, if anyone else had that "Eh?" experience and what small thing could be added at that point in the story to ease the jump.

The final thing is the resolution. At the end I felt "Ah, right, The End." It felt like an end and I was left with a satisfying feeling of fullness. Endings are SO hard. You did it.

However, I was left with a bit of a "So what?" question, which almost feels ungrateful given how good this piece is and how much I enjoyed reading it. You know, there is something bigger and more important hiding in this story that could be drawn out a bit more.... The false intimacy that people indulge in on the Internet, the deep delusion that underlies it, and the harm it causes in all parties. Look what it's done to us!

In the end, August ends up with a woman with "fake breasts" and the fact that he thinks that thought tells me he has trouble feeling or establishing true intimacy with a woman, based on real respect, and actually SEEING her rather than just jerking off to a fantasy version of her. That the simulated and superficial intimacy people foster via text is all he can handle, and that represents (I fear) many many millions of people out there.

So my point is there is an opportunity here to engage with that issue on a deeper level. Or, maybe it's there and I have missed that layer. Let me know.

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William's World's avatar

Clever piece of writing. Good work

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you so much!!

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Derya's avatar

Don’t usually read fiction on Substack—and by that I mean like, ever—but I could not stop reading this piece! And it’s 3 am! Loved it.

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you wow😭😭😭

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Jess's avatar

soooo good wow

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emma girl's avatar

Thank u so so much !

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troy adkins's avatar

this was excellent

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emma girl's avatar

Thank you!!! :)))

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sonsky-stories's avatar

Ew,

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